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L.Srikumar Pai
B.Sc( Engg.), MIE, MIWWA, MICI
Civil Engineer & CAD Specialist
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How to be Happy ?

( Guidelines to develop self confidence and happiness )

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Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.


My mind is my Kingdom. When my mind is happy , I am happy and the World seems to be happy. So happiness is the status of your mind.

A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told one his soldiers  that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered. Sure enough, the soldier quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible. Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."

The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health , time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love.

We should understand one fact that the meaning and the purpose of Life is Happiness and  the whole human existence depends upon the happiness.

What is happiness?

Happiness is a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction. Life is full of ups & downs.. Nobody is going to be happy every moment. Life is just not like that. In order to experience happiness you must experience other emotions , including sadness and anger, to some degree nearly every day.

There are several things in this World which can make you happy.. Gandhiji said: “Happiness depends upon on what you give , not what you can receive”

So one method of getting happiness is serving the poor. Mother Theresa found happiness through serving the blind, orphans , disabled and old aged people. There is not a single thing that she does for herself. Her every action is devoted to the good of others. And the World believes that she is an extremely happy lady. Also Florence Nightingale found happiness through Nursing the wounded soldiers. So if you want to be happy. Make others happy

There is a wrong belief that worldly comforts can give you happiness. Gandhiji used to wear  a loin cloth.  In spite of all Worldly comforts , Buddha can not find happiness in his Palace. .He said “ The root of all sorrow is desire. control your desires and you will be one of the most happiest person in this World.”

A famous author George Williams said ” Happiness lies, first of all, in health.” Health is wealth. Good health is very essential for happiness. We can keep an healthy body and mind  through regular exercise and meditation.

Jesus said “ Fill your hearts with love. Love of God, love of all human beings, Love of animals & Birds which will definitely bring you happiness.”

Be always optimist. Bhagavat gita says that . Whatever happened, it happened for good, What is happening is also for good. Whatever will happen that too will be for good. So do not worry about the past. Work hard & concentrate on the present moments. Definitely it will bring you happiness.

Count your blessings. You have a lot of things to be thankful for - a home, a loving family, friends you enjoy, a job, a sunny day, the knowledge you've acquired - even things like shoes, a coat. Many people don't have these things. A mind that counts blessings has no room for un-happiness. 

We always waste our energy by getting upset for minor irritations. It is not worthy at all. You missed the train?  Fretting ( worrying) is pointless. , The train is gone. Enjoy the coffee while you wait for the next one.

Charity work will  give you happiness. Donate your unused  kitchen utensils, toys, books, furniture cloths. etc to charity . The bonus is that your shelves and cupboards are clutter free and housework is easier.

I would like to give some practical suggestions to make you happy

  • Keep a healthy body and mind.
  • Try to enjoy your life with what you have.
  • Live everyday as if it is your last. We all should remember that there might not be a “ later”
  • Enjoy your favourate music .
  • Tell your partner, family and friends that you love them.
  • Phone, email, even write to your relatives and some old friends. They would love to hear from you.
  • Enhance your home , garden and surroundings with fresh flowers, fruits and garden
  • Go to beach and enjoy natural beauty such as long views, the wind, the waves etc.
  • Go for a walk . This will renew and refresh your mind and body.
  • Rent a funny video and have a good laugh.
  • Arrange a vacation with your family and friends.
  • Don't ever stop dreaming your dreams; they're a very essential part of you.
  • You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you
  • Avoid people who make you unhappy.
  • Control your anger, keep away from hatefulness, greed, jealousy etc.
  • Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
  • Don't dwell on past mistakes; leave yesterday behind you
  • Do travel one step at a time, and reach for one goal at a time.
  • Don't forget that there are so many things that are wonderful, rare, and unique about you.

Finally make someone else’s day happier. While I was studying for my pre-degree, I used to see an old man always visits the cancer ward of children with a bag. One day, I asked  him  the reason for his regular visit. He laughed at me and said that.: I have an album with funny cartoons and comic pictures. I used to show this to the children who are suffering from cancer pain. The children used to laugh at these pictures. I  feel contended to see that I can make these children’s life  happy at least  for few moments.

Fellow toastmasters, let me close my project speech by giving you a quote by the author James oppenheim ” The Foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows under his feet”. So the happiness lies within you only. It needs to be moulded , worked at and


Self-esteem Makeover

Do you need a self-esteem makeover?
Here are the essentials you will need to do it!

  1. Do not use your weight to measure your self-worth What does weight have to do with self-worth? Your self-worth is the sum of everything that makes you special and unique - not just your thigh and waist measurements! Add up your assets, talents, how you treat others, how you treat yourself, the contributions you make to your family, friends and community. Now you have self-worth.

  2. Count your blessings. You have a lot of things to be thankful for a home, a loving family, friends you enjoy, a job, a sunny day, the knowledge you've acquired - even things like shoes, a coat. Many people don't have these things. A mind that counts blessings has no room for self-pity. So you don't wear a size 2? Neither did Eleanor Roosevelt!

  3. Are you continually playing negative tapes in your mind? Eject them and insert new tapes! You may have to make a conscious effort. When the critical tape starts playing, picture yourself hitting the "stop" button and insert a new, positive tape.

  4. Don't use "all or nothing" thinking. No one is a "total" failure. Most things you do right. Just because you sometimes make a mistake or take a wrong path does not make you a "total" failure. It makes you human. Besides, the president of CBS was recently asked for his secret to success. His answer: failures - because how else would we learn?

  5. No one starts from zero. You probably eat pretty well a lot of the time. We can always make improvements, but consider the glass half full, not half-empty!

( Courtesy: )

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