Caller: 'Can you give me the
number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't
understand who you are
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of
user guide it clearly states that I need to
unplug the fax machine from the
AC wall socket and telephone Jack before
cleaning. Now, can you give
me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the
telephone point on the
Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100
for two days and can't
get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number
Customer: 'It was on the door to the
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do
you see a
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me
what you have
done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to
write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom
hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK'
Customer: 'Wow. How
can you see my screen from there?'
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
Read from the bottom going up
A young Law
student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to
his crusty old professor, who is renowned for
his razor-sharp legal mind.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand
everything about this subject?"
Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I
wouldn't be a professor, would I?"
Student: "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question.
If you can give me the correct answer, I will
accept my mark as it is. If you can't give me
the correct answer, however, you'll have to give
me an "A"
Professor: "Hmmmm, all right. So what's the
Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical
but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?"
The professor wracks his famous brain, but just
can't crack the answer. Finally he gives up and
changes the student's failing mark into an "A"
as agreed, and the student goes away, very
The professor continues to wrack his brain over
the question all afternoon, but still can't get
the answer. So finally he calls in a group of
his brightest students and tells them he has a
really, really tough question to answer: "What
is legal but not logical, logical but not legal,
and neither logical nor legal?"
To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment),
all the students immediately raise their hands.
"All right" says the professor and asks his
favourite student to answer.
"It's quite easy, sir" says the student "You
see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30
year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.
Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is
logical, but not legal. And your wife's lover
failed his exam but you've just given him an
"A", which is neither legal, nor logical."
professor - Heavens! someone stole my wallet.
Wife- Did'nt you feel a hand in your pocket?
Professor- I did, but I thought it was mine
* Did you hear about the absent-minded
doctor who, on his wedding day, when it came to
put the ring on the wife's finger, started
checking the pulse rate and asked her to stick
out her tongue?
* Nurse - You've just become the father of
a baby boy!
Professor - Don't tell my wife, I want to
* Did you hear about the absent-minded who
stood in front of the mirror for hours together
wondering where he had seen himself before.
Mr. Sharma comes
home one night, and his wife throws her arms
around his neck:
"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a
test today, but until we find out for sure, we
can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone
call from Reliance Energy (Electricity supplier
India ) because the electricity bill has
not been paid.
“Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?”
Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the
"What are you saying? It's in your files
“Yes ............. We have a system of finding
out who's overdue”
“GOD!!!!!!... ........ This is too much........
"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders....
I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about
this tonight..... He will speak to your company
That night, she tells her husband about the
incident, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to
Reliance office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my
wife is a month overdue? What business is that
of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception
at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have
to do is pay us."
"PAY you? And if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option
but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a